Do you regularly miss out on sleep because of your partner’s snoring? Is it light snoring you simply can’t ignore, or the window-rattling variety that nobody would keep anybody awake?
According to ENT Health, nearly half of adults snore occasionally and over 25% of adults are regular snorers. So that also means there are a lot of people who have to try and find a way to deal with the noise if they typically need silence to sleep well.
The good news is that there’s plenty of help available for people who snore, as long as they are willing to accept help. But what about you, the one who has to tolerate their nocturnal rumbling and try your best to get some sleep?
Let’s take a look at some practical tips to help you sleep through the noise until your partner (hopefully) finds a way to tackle it. I’ll also explain why it’s important to encourage your partner to tackle it rather than ignore it.
1. First steps: is it snoring or sleep apnea?
Your partner may not feel that their snoring disrupts their sleep, and it might be true. But according to the American Sleep Apnea Association, many people might have obstructive sleep apnea rather than being what they call “simple snorers”.
Sleep apnea is a sleep disorder with serious health implications. So it’s important to encourage your partner to speak to a doctor if they have any of the following symptoms:
- Snoring loudly and frequently.
- Sometimes stopping breathing in their sleep.
- Choking or gasping when asleep.
- Being very restless at night.
- Often feeling tired during the daytime.
Sleep apnea can be treated, which should also help their snoring – and your sleep too. If your partner doesn’t accept that they snore so much or that it’s so loud, it might help to record them so they can hear it themselves.
2. Change their sleeping position
Some people snore more when they lie on their back, and less so on their side or stomach. Ask your partner to remember this, at least at the start of the night.
If they roll onto their back later in the night, see if you can gently roll them back onto their side.
An unusual trick is to sew a tennis ball into the back of their pajamas or T-shirt. This will make sleeping on their back uncomfortable, which will help keep them in a non-snoring position.
I’ve also seen some magnetic devices sold online recently that go either side of a t-shirt or pajama top. There are anti-snoring belts that have lumps on one side. Both of these are designed to achieve the same purpose as the tennis ball trick – the only difference being you pay for them instead of getting out a needle and thread!
If they only sleep on their back, try experimenting with different pillow heights. There are also specialist anti-snore pillows available to buy which keep the head and airways in a better position.
3. Support them to lead a healthy lifestyle
There are several risk factors that are thought to increase the likelihood, or intensity, of snoring.
Being overweight is a major factor; the British Snoring and Sleep Apnea Association says that obese people are three times more likely to snore.
And research has shown other factors that can lead to snoring are:
- Drinking alcohol.
- Regular use of sleep medication or other sedatives.
- Nasal congestion because of a cold, sinus infection, illness or allergy.
If any of these apply to your partner, talk to them about the effect it might be having on their snoring and sleep. And if they have allergies, such as dust mite, hay fever or animals, try to keep the bedroom clear of allergens.
4. Block out the noise
If nothing else helps, you can try to block out as much sound as possible so you can get some sleep. Here are some ways to reduce the noise you hear in bed:
- Use earplugs with a high noise reduction rating (look for an NRR score of 33 or close to it).
- Wear headphones in bed and listen to music.
- Try noise cancelling headphones to increase the sound blocking.
If your partner snores extremely loudly, you might only be able to reduce the amount of noise you hear to a more tolerable level rather than cut it out completely, until they manage to tackle it properly. So it’s important to have the right expectations when investing in potentially expensive headphones.
In my experience, earplugs can make a significant difference to how much sound you hear, but you might not be able to block 100% of the noise.
5. Go to bed first, or sleep in separate bedrooms
If you tend to stay asleep once you finally do drift off, it might be helpful to go to bed first. That way, you have a chance to relax and fall asleep in relative quiet before the snoring begins.
You could also consider sleeping in separate bedrooms on the worst nights, or when you have something important to do the next day.
My partner and I have slept in separate bedrooms many times when we’ve both needed to get some decent sleep, and it’s not so bad once you get used to it. Understandably, this idea might seem a bit cold to some people, so it’s just a plan of action that might be worth discussing with your partner to see how they feel about it.
6. Ask them to try an anti-snoring device
A while ago, I gave a friend who snores very loudly three different anti-snoring devices to try out. One did nothing, the second helped a little, and the third worked very well.
He then spoke to his dentist about getting a custom device made, which worked well enough that he told me his snoring had stopped (and his partner was sleeping properly again).
There are many different devices available, with the main categories being:
- Mandibular advancement devices (like a mouth guard).
- Tongue stabilizing devices.
- Vestibular shields.
- Nasal plugs and strips.
- Chin straps.
Some might be available on prescription from a doctor or dentist, depending on where you live and your access to healthcare. If not, it’s worth checking to see if you can buy them over the counter or online.
7. Speaking with someone who refuses to get help
Several readers have mentioned in the comments below since I first wrote this article that communicating with their partner about their snoring has been difficult.
I personally think it helps to keep in mind that they probably know – and have known for years – that it’s an issue that upsets people. Perhaps they know it’s caused by alcohol or weight, for example, and this makes them feel even worse.
If you approach it from the angle of wanting to help, rather than putting them on the defensive with criticisms, you might find they are more receptive to trying to tackle it. Telling them you worry about their future health might get a more positive response than “your snoring is awful, why do you have to drink so much when you know it makes you snore?”.
If you still struggle to get through to them, perhaps ask a close family member or friend for advice. Sometimes an outside opinion on how to approach them can open up avenues you hadn’t considered.
Try to stay calm, even though I know it’s frustrating trying to deal with someone who refuses to accept responsibility for your lost sleep.
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If the person snoring is sleeping in another room, and you can still hear it, then there are other options you can try to block out the noise.
I’ve written a separate article about blocking out noise at night, which you might find helpful to read.
Do you know what makes your partner’s snoring better or worse? How do you cope with it? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts.
Good timing. Thank you for your article. My mother has been complaining for weeks now because my snoring is getting too loud especially when I am so stressed. Thank you really.
You’re welcome. I hope something in the article helps you find a way to tackle your snoring (and complaining along with it!).
5.5.years together and my partner finally went to his doctor. They asked him a bunch of questions and decided he does not need any further assessments and can’t suggest anything else. We live apart but when he stays with me for months at a time I want to smother him – I have earplugs but if I’m not settled when he comes to bed then sleep is never going to happen. I only have 1 bedroom, and have my own sleep condition to deal with. He’s a heavy breather when awake, not overweight doesn’t live an unhealthy life, so the only thing we can think of his his previously broken nose (20+ yrs go). The thought of living together full time makes me want to cry as I can’t share a room with him whilst working and the lack of sleep puts me of being intimate as I just wake from my poor sleep feeling resentful. He sleeps deeply and wakes refreshed… Lucky!
Sorry to hear you have this problem, it must be very frustrating and upsetting having to weigh up the pros and cons of needing sleep versus your relationship.
Have you tried any of the anti-snoring devices you can buy online without a prescription? I’m not sure whether any would work and if it would be a waste of money, but perhaps you could do your own research into nasal clips to see if you both think it’s an option worth trying?
I snore a lot especially when I am dead tired at work. My wife usually wakes me up and makes me sleep on my side. It does help reduce the snoring and if I did snore, it is tolerable. Thanks for sharing your info. Great article!
Thanks for your comment. It’s good you don’t seem to mind being woken up and asked to turn on your side. I’ve also done this with an ex-partner who was tolerant of being gently woken. Not everyone is though, so it’s one to tred carefully with.
Going to try my kid’s cbd gummies… it’s too much.
Well, if CBD works for you, perhaps it will help you with the stress of coping with snoring, if that’s what’s going on for you.
I am currently up at 4am because of my dad’s snoring. I went to bed first but I always wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Also, last time I talked to him about it he almost canceled our trip. How do I get back to sleep because every little noise bothers me?
Thanks for the article on snoring. Do you have any additional advice on how to deal with partners who not only snore but sleep talk (and scream)? Sometimes I’ll be drifting off and be fully woken up again because of a partner’s sleep talking. Sometimes I will wake them up and this has stopped their talking and helped occasionally. Other times I will just try to continue trying to fall asleep because I worry a conversation could further delay the process of drifting off to sleep. What would you advise for dealing with sleep talkers?
With sleep talking, it’s going to be the person doing it that needs to take action to tackle it. They might find self-help works, particularly around relaxation, stress, sleep hygiene etc. Or in some cases, they might benefit from talking to a professional about it if there’s an underlying issue that’s perhaps making it worse. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution though, unfortunately.
My husband snores very loudly and I am a light sleeper. He did a sleep study but doesn’t have apnea…just a really loud snorer. After years of me trying to block the noise and him not doing anything to reduce the snoring, I started to sleep in the extra bedroom. I don’t like it, I would much rather sleep in the same bed, but I also have to sleep or I don’t function well. My husband won’t try to address the snoring– he won’t sleep on his side, he sleeps perfectly flat on his back with a very thin pillow. He often drinks alcohol before he goes to bed and refused to try the mouth piece I got him. I have some good noise-canceling headphones but the only ones that work are over the ear and I can’t get comfortable enough to sleep while wearing them. I very much want to sleep in the same bed but I also resent that this has become my problem rather than his, when I’m a very quiet sleeper unless I have a cold.
Thanks for sharing your story. I can empathise with you on this one – it’s hard when you want to sleep with a partner, but they do things that stop you from sleeping. I personally think it’s fine to sleep in separate beds. My partner and I did that for a long time, and just had a cuddle in one bed before going off to the otehr bed, and sometimes snuck into one of the other beds in the morning too. It worked well for us.
My dad snores insanely loud throughout the whole night. No stopping at all. The worst thing is that I can hear it loud and clear throughout the whole house except for downstairs. My parents occasionally take away my computer and phone (including my earphones) and on those nights I try to sleep before him but I always end up waking up around 11pm – 12am for some reason to him snoring and can’t go back to sleep. It drives me absolutely insane to the point where I just feel like running around the whole house and destroying everything there is. I really can’t do this anymore, because every school night they take my devices which means I often have to go through the same thing, of just sitting up on my bed and waiting for an acceptable time to get up and collect my devices (which feels like days at its worst).
Sorry to hear you’re having such difficulty with your sleep. Can you get some earplugs instead? There’s no reason they would take those away from you, and they can help reduce the snoring noise a lot.
I’m thankful that you mentioned that it is important to support your partner and lead them into a healthy lifestyle. My spouse has been dealing with sleep apnea for some time. I think I’ll look into treatment of the sleep apnea, so that the problem can be nipped at the bud.
If they have sleep apnea and are not receiving any treatment for it, I think it’s definitely a good idea to address that.
For your good health, you need a good sleep too. If you wanted to have a good sleep, you need an environment which has less noise pollution. That’s why we need sometimes earplugs to reduce noise pollution to have the best sleep.
That’s exactly why I wear earplugs most nights!
My husband and I have been together for 14 years he has snored for over 11 1/2 really really bad. I don’t know what to do I have tried everything all of your suggestions sleep mom earplugs but he refuses absolutely refuses to go to the doctor. I’m going insane and me being blind and using the sleep masks with the earmuffs just makes me hot. I’m about to lose it. Please do you have any suggestions?
I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a difficult time because of your partner’s snoring. Unfortunately, I don’t have any more practical suggestions that I haven’t covered already. Why does he refuse to go to the doctor? Is it just for this problem, or does he avoid the doctor in general?
I have been with my husband for 23 years and his snoring has been awful since I can remember. I lose a lot of sleep with his constant loud snore or whistling. I have tried to move him, kick him, alter my position to disturb him, I have slept on the sofa bed (why me? It should be him!) I can’t wear earplugs as they give me earache. I try to go to bed before him most nights. Some days I cannot function through lack of sleep. He won’t seek help & can’t see things from my perspective. He gets annoyed when I won’t have sex and constantly sighs at me! That is the last thing on my mind when I feel like I have been in a battle all night! He knows the reasons why I am so tired and to be honest my general mood around him is negative lately due to this.
I am in the same boat as you! I have tried every earplug I could get my hands on…but, due to tinnitus, it makes it worse. Also, I’m an extremely light sleeper…so, I hear EVERYTHING. I’ve kindly asked the other half to rotate throughout the night (which is 20 min lol) and I end up sleeping on the couch. Ummmm…what the heck?????
I really hope you can get him to go to the doctor – most people don’t have any idea how medically dangerous sleep apnea is.
Sleep apnea runs in my family and I was unfortunately made very painfully aware of how serious it was when I was only 16 years old. I had always dreaded family vacations because of my mother’s loud snoring, which I have always been extremely sensitive to. She dismissed it saying at least she wasn’t anywhere close to as bad as her father, my grandfather, who had slept in a bedroom on the other side of the house from my grandmother for 3/4 of their almost 50 years of marriage due to his snoring.
The thing about obstructive sleep apnea is that it’s not just snoring – you literally stop breathing for anywhere from 5-20 seconds, which puts a large strain on your heart and wakes you up from REM sleep. Left untreated, the worst cases of obstructive sleep apnea can be fatal.
My grandparents lived on the other side of the country from my family for most of my life, but near the end of my junior year of high school they came to visit us for a month. I got closer to them during that month than I ever had been before.
Only 3 days into their trek home, at hotel in the middle of nowhere New Mexico, my grandfather’s heart gave out and stopped beating due to the stress his sleep apnea had been putting on it for the last 10+ years. He was only 71.
I miss him dearly and wish I could have at least shared the milestones of my young adulthood with him, and I speak of him whenever I can to help raise awareness that severe snoring is NOT just something irritating – it can be a real and serious health issue for the person doing the snoring.
I hope you’ll share this with your husband and it will encourage him to finally seek help – none of us want to be left a widow before our time.
Best of luck. ❤
I sleep the opposite way up in our bed ….. snoring isn’t right next to you so less annoying!
My husband snores tried everything for him nothing works he had to sleep somewhere else otherwise it affects my mood to our children . He will go to the docs but only if I book an appointment be going on for 2 and half years and its affecting our marriage.
Hello what about a solution with mini ear plugs with white noise in them? Does anyone know of this?
You’d need to look into noise cancelling earbuds I believe. There aren’t many that exist that aren’t also headphones, but there are a few, such as Apple airpods and Quieton.
I record him at his loudest snoring and hold it by his ear, he usually turns over. Or shove a pillow under his back.
My dad snores so loud I swear the whole universe can hear it! It fricken sucks and I don’t get sleep because of it which makes me really irritable. I’ve tried all of these but they don’t work and he’s incredibly stubborn and won’t try anything which is a health problem considering he’s overweight. Snoring is also a huge pet peeve of mine so it’s not easy in the slightest to have to deal with this 24/7. I don’t know what to do about it.
I understand your frustration. Have you reach my article about blocking out noise in bed? Perhaps there’s a new tip or two in there you haven’t tried yet?
The same problem with me, my dad also does the same thing.
My sister and I are currently back home from college and we are forced to share a room. My sister snores so loud that I am unable to sleep or even relax in the same room as her. Even when I wear headphones while listening/watching something, I can STILL hear her snoring. She refuses to do anything about it and I get so frustrated with her and the situation. Any help?
Have you tried different earplugs? I know it’s an obvious and simple suggestion, but in my experience there really is nothing better. And perhaps talking to her in a different way, calmly if possible and with the point of view that it’s for her good as much as yours?
My brother is temporary staying with me and my parents because he got kicked out for an unknown by a relative. EVERY night, he snore so loudly that I can hear him in the next room which is causing me to not sleep well. Unless my brother get his own apartment, I’m stuck with this annoyance.
I can understand your frustration. I hope one or more of the ideas in the article help you cope with the noise. If he’s in the next room, at least some of the sound should be muffled, giving you a better chance of blocking the rest. And ideally, he’ll accept some suggestions to tackle his snoring if you talk to him about it calmly.
My fiancé and I have lived together for about a year now and as I’m a good cook and he no longer has to walk 2 miles to and from work every day he’s put on weight and his snoring is out of control. It was bad before but now the earplugs don’t work at all. I lay awake most nights cursing him in my head. I’m positive he has sleep apnea but has crappy insurance and we can’t afford the machine. I’m desperate, what can I do to save this relationship because I’m honestly not sure how much longer I can take this. We don’t have a spare room for me to go to and our room is right off the living room so sleeping elsewhere isn’t an option. I write this at 1:30 am with earplugs in, a loud fan on high and a blanket wrapped around my head and I can still hear the snoring clear as a bell.
Sorry to hear you’re having difficulties because of this. My first thought is a cheeky one – can you subtly help him reduce weight by planning meals differently? I know the lack of exercise can be an issue. But personally with the current lockdown where I am, I’ve adapted my diet to take into account the reduction in calories I’m burning during the day. It’s not easy, but it’s at least a constructive step.
But really, this is an issue which will require communication to resolve I think. If you think he has apnea, it’s a potentially serious condition that really needs to be addressed. But it needs a diagnosis, and also for him to be willing to face the possibility.
As for what you can do, what earplugs are you using? You might be able to get more effective ones if you haven’t explored different types before.
And finally, please try not to let it drive you further down the road of desperation. I know it’s easy to blame a partner who is affecting your sleep. But cursing him in your hear won’t help. At this current time, we all need to stay strong and work as a team with people in our house – assuming you’re being affected by COVID-19. And in an ideal world, he will also be willing to take on the ‘team spirit’ concept. And to do that, some patient, calm communication is the first step.
Wish I could help more, but positive words is kind of all I have to offer!
I live at home with my parents and my mum is an extremely loud snorer, her room is right next to mine and she refuses to close her bedroom door at night , I often sneak out to close her door but nine times out of ten she’ll wake within half an hour or so to reopen it which then wakes me up, I’ve tried talking to her about it but she gets extremely defensive and aggressive about the situation and refuses to help find a solution for both of us.
Sorry to hear that, it must be stressful for you feeling that you can’t negotiate a compromise that helps you sleep better. Does closing your door not help much? Does the noise come through the door mostly, or do you hear it through the wall?
I totally understand
This is a cautionary tale. In the name of love, I tried a sleep headband, using white noise to muffle the sound of my snoring girlfriend. I left the volume too loud over two nights. Three days later I have substantially diminished hearing in one ear and tinnitus. Don’t do what I did!
That doesn’t sound good at all. Has it gotten better now? I hope so!
I have a roommate who snores loudly, I tried earplugs and playing white noise but it doesn’t help. Earphones with very loud music can help but not totally and I do not want to do this as it might cause hearing problems. I am looking for another apartment but it’s a bit difficult because of financial issues. My roommate knows about the loud snoring but he said he cannot do anything about it, it really stresses me out.
Sorry to hear this – I know it can be very stressful when you can’t seem to find a way to cope with the noise. Have you tried different types of earplugs? Which did you try exactly?
Yes, it is the same with me. In my case, the snoring guy knows very well he has the problem but he rented out the room to me with telling anything. Sick fellow.
It’s not my fiance who is annoying me, it’s one of my housemates. My bedroom is right next door to this certain housemate, so their constant very loud snoring is pissing me off no end. It sounds like the way a farm pig would snore. It’s SO loud :( It’s stressing me out. I just want to move back into the bedroom I first had when I moved here. Why should I have to put up with his snoring? If it was my fiance snoring, I could forgive it a lot more, because I adore my fiance, so I could overlook it, but the housemates snoring is a total nightmare. Every day and every night I hear it so clearly. The walls are very thin. I feel like screaming once he starts snoring. I have Aspergers which only exasperates the problem.
I live in a residential care home, by the way, so I would need the care home manager’s permission to move to a different bedroom in the home.
Perhaps it’s worth asking them then. Do you think they will let you move again? It can’t hurt to ask, even if they say no.
I have a husband who snores as well. Well, “snores” is an understatement. It is so loud and intrusive that I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. I go to sleep before he does. I take Ambien myself in order to attempt to sleep through the noise. I turn the fan on high and blast two rainfall sound machines. I have tried a various assortment of earplugs and headphones. Nothing seems to block out his loud booming base snoring. I’ve tried nudging him and asking him to rollover. My requests are usually ignored or met with angry cursing. (ALL OF WHICH HE DENIES THE NEXT DAY) I have asked him to try a sleep study or just go to the dr (we have good healthcare). Yet…He refuses to get help. Instead he fights with me and gets defensive. I’ve tried talking with him about how it is affecting both of us but he doesn’t want to hear it. He has even gone as far as to say it’s not him doing it. (Even after I have recorded him). That doesn’t even make any sense. It’s just the two of us in the room. I have tried sleeping in a separate room. This did obviously work but then he told me I am single-handedly destroying our marriage by not sleeping in the same room with him. He says It’s not “healthy” or “normal” for a married couple to sleep in separate rooms. It’s not normal or healthy to only sleep for 2-3 hours a night! He did have an expensive mouthpiece from the dentist which he chewed through after two months because of excessive teeth grinding. I have health issues and need sleep. It’s been almost 11 years! I can’t take it anymore!!! Oh yeah, he doesn’t smoke and rarely drinks alcohol and is slightly overweight…..but doesn’t care.
Thanks for your comment. This sounds like a very difficult situation, and I’m not sure what I would do, other than continue to persist with the view that you need to get some decent sleep too. It’s definitely not abnormal to sleep in separate beds – many people do. Have you spoken to any close family or friends who know both of you to see what advice they have about tackling this?
This sounds like my partner exactly he blames me for sleeping in another room hes in total denial he snores im also at my wits end with it too
I appreciate all of your contributions to this topic. I have a wife who snores regularly and I have tried all the things the others have tried. Nothing works. I usually move to the couch downstairs, but I don’t like using the couch night after night as I have done. A couch is not designed to be a bed. It gets dirty and there is no change of sheets. We have three extra bedrooms for our grandchildren, so I am planning on moving into one of those tonight. I also have earplugs, headband, and white noise machine. Doesn’t help. It stresses me when we go to a hotel, because I have no place to go in a one room, even with a king size.. In hotel rooms, I have tried to sleep on a towel in the bathroom to try and escape the snoring.
Thanks for the feedback. It sounds like a difficult situation there, like so many people who live with snorers. Has your wife sought treatment for her snoring at all? Sometimes even a simple over the counter product can help too.
Hopefully moving to a different bedroom will be a good solution. I’ve spent lots of time sleeping in a different bedroom from my wife at different times in our relationship, and it hasn’t done us any harm. If anything, getting better sleep again helps your brain recover enough from sleep deprivation to be able to think about dealing with the core problem better in the long run.
I am in the same boat.
I would sleep in another room and let him feel the stress, he is causing you by not being able to sleep…he’s an adult and should respect you enough to try and fix his problem, like a big boy…I’m a man and also deal with snoring partner…surprising how you can get their attention when you move to another bedroom and provide recording of the snoring…if he cares about you, he’ll get help to correct it and stop being selfish
I feel your pain ☹️ That’s my life for 13 years, exactly the same details, it’s awful 😩
SAME HERE!! IT SUCKS :/ :(
OMG, that is our situation to the “T”! It puts me in tears each night knowing that I have a small couch to resort to getting minimal sleep there as well. My husband does drink alcohol, a bit overweight but refuses to listen to my reasoning of course. :(
Sorry to hear you’re struggling with a snoring housemate. Have you tried any of the techniques to block out the noise? Has anything helped at all?
Record the snoring at night. provide the tape to the manager. Tell him you need to move due to sleep deprivation. If the manager refuses, get a lawyer and sue for torture due to sleep deprivation.
Just slept with my boyfriend and his snoring sounded like a pig, donkey, even a horse. It did put me off staying at his. what can I do?
Talk to him about it and the techniques you read here, as well as other websites. And perhaps get some earplugs until he finds a way to reduce it!
So if you were in a different room when you moved in together can’t you change back? Just a thought
Have you tried earplugs? It is a life changer.
Hi my names Ellie, I’m on a vacation right now with my family and a family friend. It’s the first day of the vacation and I just discovered that our family friend snores so extremely loud. I tried putting pillows over my ears didn’t help, I tried to listen to music didn’t help but the worst thing is our cabin we are staying in has one bedroom so we are all in the same room and I’ve been up since 4 am and it’s almost 5. Can someone help me out please?
Thanks for your comment, and sorry to hear this! Unfortunately, there is often not much that can be done to completely block the sound of very loud snoring. It might help if you can get hold of some good earplugs (look for ones with NRR above 30, which is the noise reduction rating – it will say it on the packet). Instead of music, you could try listening to white noise – there are free phone Apps that have it. Otherwise, you can ask the family member to try to sleep on their front instead of their back, drink less alcohol as that makes it worse, and it might help if you try and go to sleep first, before they do.
I have to share a room with my grandfather and he makes weird noises when he sleeps. They sound like big sighs and are really annoying. He also snores very loud. I tried moving to other rooms but i can still hear him. We live in a very small apartment with 4 other members of my family, and 2 out of the 4 of them snore. I usually end up getting 2 to 4 hours of sleep at night. I tell him to turn over but he just rolls back over. I am always tired and i don’t know what to do.
Have you tried earplugs or listening to music on headphones?
My hubby is very defensive when I talk to him about his snoring. Regardless to which position he lies in the snoring is unbearable. Sleeping on his stomach seems to help. I purchased nasal spray & snoring strips but he won’t use them regularly. I suggested a sleep study or dr appt & he hasn’t been receptive. I recorded him & he’s defensive when we talk. I try to fall asleep 1st & once I’m in a deep sleep the loud noise wakes me & I have to try to fall asleep again. I tried sleeping with headphones & playing music or a sleep track (water, etc.) but his snoring over powers it. I’m 100 % disabled & pain also affects my sleep. Lately, it’s really unbearable & it’s affecting my mood & daily performance. Help please. Thanks in advance.
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this issue. It’s a shame your partner isn’t communicating with you about the snoring. Perhaps there is a way to bring it up in a way that he doesn’t react to as if he’s being criticized? Sometimes we react defensively when we feel helpless, or that we’re being attacked, even when we aren’t. You might find he feels bad inside that he is affecting your sleep. My opinion is that it’s good to pick the right time to talk about difficult issues, but not give up on it. He needs to understand how much it’s affecting you, and that you both need to find ways to cope. Have you given him any other options to try, like a mouth guard, to see if that helps more than the nasal products? Have you tied earplugs or just headphones? They might not cut it out, but can help a lot.
When I read your comment, I can totally relate to it. I am in the exact situation as you. In addition, I’m a light sleeper. I sleep in separate room with my husband. We used to sleep together. When we sleep together, every time he starts to snore, I’ll move to another room. But this is causing me to lose a lot of sleep too because I needed to get to sleep all over again. Sometimes his snore could be heard even in another room…
Ethan, I can’t use noise canceling earplugs. I need to attend to my baby at night. If the earplugs work really well, I won’t be able to hear her. During traveling, it is the worse time at nights. I went traveling but when it comes to night time, I will suffer from lack of sleep (as we need to sleep in the same room) and it is really stressful. I don’t think anyone can help…Can you?
You didn’t mention anything about anything you’ve tried to deal with his snoring. Has he tried any methods to reduce it?
I have had the same issue with my spouse and I have moved to the guest room so that I can get a good night’s sleep. It’s not what I prefer but I do tend to get a better sleep. Until your spouse is ready to face taking care of the issue you need to take care of yourself and make sure that you get the amount of sleep that is needed to be healthy and happy.
Hello. I noticed in your article you said you tried three things and the last one worked but I don’t see where you mention what that thing was.
You’re right, I didn’t! It wasn’t intentional to hide the information though and hadn’t even realized until reading your comment and checking back. I think my aim was to explain how if you try different techniques, you’ll hopefully find one that works – but the thing that works won’t be the same for everyone. But in his case, it was a mouthpiece. He first tried a generic one you can get online. After realizing it helped, he had a custom one made.
My brother snores and I have no headphones and I don’t have white noise machines. He doesn’t have an illness what do I do? I cant buy anything:(
It’s a tricky situation, I know. Perhaps you can ask family for help, both in tackling his snoring and for you to find something to block out the noise?
I’m sorry to say that the CPAP machine when on sounds just as horrific as snoring. The air that blows in my face makes me sneeze and my eyes water and what’s worse – when I try to help by tapping or suggesting to roll over it’s met with an annoyance that I am disturbing his sleep. Me! I sleep on average of 2-3 hours per night. Another room is not an option. I’m sick all of the time now. Exhausted, sad and unable to concentrate. I’m not angry or resentful just TIRED but treated like I’m a grouch because of it. I’m sure the neighbors can hear the snoring and the adults that visit tap on our bedroom door because they can’t believe the noise. On an airplane, we are in for a nasty confrontation from other passengers or filmed by them. Let me repeat this – he has a CPAP Machine and still makes noise. Like a French horn and blows out air onto the face of whomever sleeps or sits nearby.
There has to be a better solution because my mind and health are compromised now.
Recording him makes him resentful as he isn’t interested in being blamed for something he’s tried to solve.
He does not drink. He is not overweight. He is loving and otherwise considerate.
I, on the other hand, am losing my mind every night to the point where I sneak into the bathroom and cry – sob, really in extreme ways that I can only describe as a crazed fatigue reaction to sleeping (or trying to) next to a person with Apnea who I love with extreme conditions.
Ugh. There aren’t solutions but I do believe I’ll die young.
I’m sorry to hear you’re in this situation – it must be stressful for both of you. I’m assuming you’ve spoken to the doctor who oversees the cpap machine to see if there is an alternative he could try? Maybe you could even get in touch with different manufacturers directly to see if they have suggestions that might help?
With the air blowing, personally, I’d probably build a little pillow wall in the middle between you to stop that from bothering you. And I imagine I’d be looking into testing different earplugs to cut the noise down.
But I know it’s not easy when the noise is too much. I wish you luck in finding a solution.
My first husband was put on oxygen when he began his CPAP machine. After a few months he was off the oxygen. His BP was better, not tired, no headaches. I was still using earplugs because of the machine. I don’t like the blowing of air n spit from coughing from my current husband. Yes I divorced the first one for other reasons. I have recently flipped my position on the bed when my guy got sick. No spit or blowing, and snoring wasn’t a foot from my ears. I still used earplugs, but it was better sleep than I’ve had in quite a while. I also gained elbow room. I flipped back after he wasn’t sick and I was sick. The snoring was extreme. I’m flipping back tonight. I need rest desperately. 3.5 hours is not enough when my fibro body needs 9-10 hours. And my hearing is hypersensitive.
Walmart ear plugs go up to 33. There are some with hollowed out centers that fit nicer than the others.
If turning on your side worked, have you tried putting a dense pillow on it’s side inbetween your two heads/pillows? If you have enough space, that can help reduce a bit of sound.
Hi Ethan! Would it be illegal to drop a Benadryl or some kind of other medicine in his mouth when it’s open??? I’m just kidding. It’s 4:45 a.m and I am about to cry.
Hi Jess. Well, long before being illegal it would be somewhat immoral! I doubt you’re the first person to come up with that idea though. I hope you manage to find a better solution.
I’m just being humorous here, but maybe you could buy an air horn. It will make him jump.
If you leave him & tell him to call you back when he finds a solution, you’ll see it works better then a C-PAP. I promise you the first night you sleep alone, the next morning you’re going to be a new person physically & mentally (Everything will change for you)
My brother was fitted with a CPAP machine a year ago. He cannot use it and he keeps tearing it off…it is under his bed when he gets up. He can’t remember doing it. This includes any other devices – mouthpieces, nose pieces, chin straps, etc. What do you suggest with a case like this one? He is the award winner for loudest snorer….u can probably hear him in this message. He checks all the boxes – overweight, drinker, smoker, nightly zopiclone user. He is working with a doctor, drinks less, trouble quitting smoking, never tried dropping zopiclone.
Well, it depends if you’re asking what to suggest if you’re being disturbed by the snoring, or how to help him improve his own situation. For the latter, supporting him to take the doctor’s advice might be the best you can do. As for the former, working your way through the ideas in the article in the hope that something works!
What if my partner falls asleep before me and I can’t get any sleep because he can’t be moved in his sleep and I have no access to any anti snore devices. What shall I do?
Thanks for your question. Have you spoken to your partner about his snoring at all to see if he will take steps to tackle it? Have you tried any of the techniques for blocking sound?
Can’t cope anymore with husbands snoring. He is overweight and drinks too much. He won’t talk about it and won’t accept help when I suggest us both going to slimming classes. Its now really affecting my health getting no sleep. I am struggling with work and fall asleep as soon as I get home. I can’t see any other way out except leaving him.
Thanks for sharing your story, though I’m sorry to hear it’s such a difficult time for you. It sounds like you’ve tried to tackle it together, but he is not connecting with it. Does he know how much it’s affecting you, and how strongly you feel? Perhaps this is something to talk about in more depth, either together or with a counsellor if you would like to try that approach. Maybe even the suggestion would make him take your concerns on board more.
It’s always the overweight people who snore loudest. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure that smoking won’t help matters, because smokers end up with breathing problems after years of smoking, because their lungs can’t take any more of the catarrh. So they end up with a life-long breathing problem. A huge one. If only they knew. They end up coughing up phlegm. Snoring is just the beginning of it. Unless they try to lose weight, then they really are looking at an early death. The funny thing is, they don’t care until it’s too late. Typical.
My husband’s snoring was so loud that the only thing that worked was sleeping in separate bedrooms. He was obviously gasping for breath, over and over. So I talked him into being checked and treated for sleep apnea.
Sure enough, he had a severe case, and was fitting with a CPAP machine. I can’t express how much difference this has made!! He is totally silent, all night long, and he says his energy level is way up. He is in his 70’s and was getting a little forgetful, but this has entirely gone away.
It is important to remember that sleep apnea is not only very tiring to the person who has it – they are not sleeping properly – but also has severe potential health impacts.
Thanks for your comment and for sharing you and your husband’s experience. It’s great that this was identified and treated – I hope you can both continue to sleep better now.
I can confirm that none of these work. After being abruptly woken for the millionth time, it’s more of the structure of the nose/bridge and throat that cause it.
Also, none of these stop the rumbling, or dissonant gasps and gurgles.
It would be more tolerable if it was rhythmic.
Completely draining the love I have for my wife because I don’t sleep anymore.
Thanks for your comment, and sorry to hear the snoring is having such a damaging effect on your feelings. When you say none of these work, has she been to a doctor to get treatment for the snoring? Or are you referring more to the methods to shut the noise out yourself?
Exactly… I’m going through the same problem… Sleepless nights has become a nightmare.. Now I’m always irritated and losing the feelings I had for my husband…
I sleep with rain and storm sounds, through headphones. It can get messy but it’s better than the alternative.
Thanks for sharing. I recommend ambient nature sounds with constant sounds, like rain, waterfalls etc. Thunder can be harder to sleep through because it’s less predictable I think.
None of these work! My spouse does have sleep apnea, but I’ve tried everything to get rid of the noise. What else can I do!!
Are they being treated for their apnea?
Put a blanket or a pillow over your head but make sure you can breathe
I’ve done exactly that many times in the past! I always found it a little uncomfortable, especially if you end up reducing the air flow, which obviously isn’t a good thing!
I honestly think its grounds for seperation. I mind having to leave my warm bed to sleep on the couch.
Thanks for all these wonderful tips Ethan! My husband has snored since we met, and although I’m used to it, some nights it drives me crazy. I’ll defo. be trying out a couple of the suggestions I haven’t tried before.
You’re very welcome, I’m glad there was something new for you to try.
I need some solutions for night noise. Because of me, so many people are in trouble and my family also. Thank you.
If you are the one snoring, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about it to see if they can help, and check for any underlying condition.
Roll him over onto his left side. I am a very light sleeper and if he stops breathing….I instantly wake and will kick his leg and he will take a huge breath.
If your partner stops breathing during their sleep, it’s important to talk to their doctor and get assessed for sleep apnea.