Sometimes it amazes me how elusive a good night’s sleep can be when it feels like it should just happen naturally at the end of a long day. There are enough challenges in our daily lives without sleep being yet another one.
Over the years, I’ve come to learn that no matter how promising the latest mattress, gadget, or breathing technique appears, when it comes to sleep the key for me is to consistently get the basics right.
Even a perfect mattress won’t magically make me fall asleep if I’m just not tired enough. The latest breathing app or meditation technique isn’t always enough if I’m too wired from guzzling down strong coffee all day long.
Solutions and habits
Don’t get me wrong – I definitely think it’s important to have effective solutions to specific problems: earplugs for noise; a big bed for couples; the right style of mattress for you personally; appropriate bedding for hot or cold weather.
At the end of the day though, investing in sleep tech and bedding will only get me so far; there are actions I need to take if I want to get the best night’s sleep. Daily and nightly habits that I now know will either interfere with my sleep or make it more likely to go the way I want it to.
In this article, I’m going to share the sleep tips that have worked best for me personally. They might not all be right for you, but I think they are worth considering and there may be one or two here that you haven’t tried before.
Keep in mind that I try to do all of these techniques, as often as possible. And that’s the secret for me: it’s not a case of having a go when you remember. It’s a case of working out which methods work well for you and then adopting those as a complete package of positive daily sleep habits.
1. The bedroom cave: cool, dark and quiet
I sleep best when I think of my bedroom as a cave. Not a ‘man cave’ with an Xbox. Just a cool, dark and quiet cave.
The recommended bedroom temperature for most adults is approximately 19-21°Celcius (66-70° Fahrenheit). Some might like it a bit cooler or warmer, but it’s probably best not to go too much hotter or colder. For me, 19°C or less feels most comfortable, especially when I share the bed.
I pay particular attention to how the bedroom and bedding are set up as the seasons change. If I feel too hot or cold when I get into bed, I do something about it rather than accepting it and just trying to fall asleep anyway.
I turn the heating off in the bedroom long before going to bed, and never use warm bedding in the summer (I’m mindful not to be too cold in the winter though).
I always have a quick shower before going to bed, even if I had one in the morning. It feels good to freshen up, and it also feels cooler when you get out of the shower and go to bed.
I turn off any devices that make noise unless they are essential. For all other noise, I use well-fitting earplugs with a high noise reduction rating (around 33 dB).
And I always make sure the sunlight is blocked out, especially in the summer when it rises early. I have a sleep mask to hand if the light finds its way in, and always take one with me when I’m staying away from home.
Cool. Quiet. Dark. Three important words for me when it comes to bedtime.
2. Tired body + tired mind = better sleep
My insomnia was at its worst in my early
In my later 20s, I started a much more mentally challenging job and got into weight training and swimming. What I found was that on the days when my brain and body were both tired, I would usually sleep well.
So, I try to tire out both my brain and body every day. Even if I’m having a rest day following more strenuous exercise, I’ll at least go for a long walk and spend plenty of time outside. It makes a huge difference.
Even when I was in lockdown for months on end during the pandemic in 2020, I did my best to exercise at home most days. Sure, some days I just couldn’t be bothered because it’s kind of hard to consistently motivate yourself to do exercise when you’re stuck indoors in such stressful times.
It’s okay if you just can’t find the energy some days. But I try to keep in mind a simple concept that’s deceptively easy to forget: If I’m not physically and mentally tired, I can’t expect easy sleep for free. And this is something I can control.
3. Less lazy Sundays
A key technique for better sleep is to maintain a regular sleep pattern. For many years, I used to get up at a regular time during the week to go to work. However, I had no set bedtime – it could be anything between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m.
At the weekend, like many young people, I’d often stay out late on Friday, Saturday, or both. And then have a long lie-in on Saturday, Sunday, or both.
It wasn’t unusual for me to wake up on a Sunday with a hangover, watch movies and eat pizza (like a normal person). However, I wouldn’t be tired enough to sleep well on Sunday night, which in turn would knock my whole week out of sync.
The answer? Unless I’m feeling particularly sleep deprived and need to recharge my batteries, I go to bed and get up at more or less the same time every day of the week.
If I do stay up later at the weekend one night, I still set my alarm for a reasonable time the next day, making do with a bit less sleep but keeping my schedule on track.
“Boooooring!”, I hear you say. And I get it. If your social life is more important than your sleep right now, then so be it. But if you’ve just slipped into the habit of staying up late for no particular reason and then sleeping in late too, this might be an adjustment that reaps rewards.
4. Read yourself to sleep
It’s so simple, yet it’s one of my favorite techniques. As often as possible, I read in bed until I can no longer focus on the words or wake myself up with the book dropping out of my hand.
It’s important to note that whilst in an ideal world you’d go to bed at the same time every night and fall asleep instantly, it doesn’t usually work that way.
Instead, it’s better to do one of two things:
- Only go to bed when you feel tired.
- Go to bed at a regular time and read until you feel tired enough to sleep.
The first method can work well if you have insomnia and are fed up with lying in bed tossing and turning. However, I personally prefer the second method. At least you’re in bed relaxing and letting your body and mind know that it’s bedtime.
If you’re not a fan of reading books, there are a couple of other options you could try:
- Do a relaxation exercise in bed until you feel sleepy.
- Play a simple game on the phone or tablet until you can’t focus on the screen. I know it goes against the standard advice of not using electronic devices in bed. However, if you have the screen dimmed and use a blue light filter, it might work well for you.
5. Keep calm and carry on
For many years, I was my own worst enemy when it came to dealing with insomnia and I didn’t even know it.
I used to think I should be able to fall asleep immediately (20 to 30 minutes is actually quite normal). When sleep didn’t happen within a few minutes, I’d start stressing about being awake.
Even if I did fall asleep, I’d often wake up in the night or long before my alarm was due to go off. This would then trigger anxiety that the next day would be awful because of a lack of sleep.
My self-defeating stress was pointed out to me one night by my partner. She was fed up with being woken by my constant position changing and random grumbling noises.
I eventually decided to try what she suggested: just stay calm. By making the decision to change my attitude, I believe there was a positive shift in my mind. After that, I started falling asleep a little quicker, no matter what time of the night it was.
By accepting the fact that sometimes I won’t sleep right through the night, and by understanding that the next day won’t be as painful as I feared, it’s much easier to keep the late night anxiety at bay.
6. Watch what you eat and drink
I don’t think anybody really knows what the perfect diet for sleep looks like, despite ongoing research into what does or doesn’t affect our sleep.
Nevertheless, there are a few key factors that seem to help me:
- I gave up caffeine.
- I gave up alcohol.
- I try to eat a big lunch and a lighter dinner.
- I don’t eat sweet or spicy food late at night.
- I keep hydrated and drink plenty of water during the day.
- I eat a healthy diet, with lots of vegetables and fruit.
I’m not saying you should also give up caffeine and alcohol, but if you’ve been thinking about it, you might find those articles above interesting. Otherwise, my advice would be to drink less of it in the evening/night and try not to drink caffeine after lunchtime if possible.
7. Don’t take stress to bed
Stress, anxiety, worry, thinking. Whatever you want to call it, switching your mind off at night isn’t always easy. I think it’s good to find a (healthy) way to do so though.
I believe that it’s important not to allow your bedtime to be your thinking time, especially if you have major worries at the moment.
Here are a few of my tips for slowing down the nighttime train of thought:
- I try to allow time earlier in the day to sit quietly for a moment and think about important stuff. It’s also another really good reason to go for a walk if I have a lot on my mind. That way, I don’t feel I have to solve all my problems in the dark with my eyes closed.
- If I have lots on my mind, I write a quick list of things I need to do, plan or even think about – before getting into bed. Then I can relax knowing that I can pick it all up again in the morning with a fresh outlook.
- When my mind is overactive, I do simple breathing exercises in bed to distract myself.
- I agree with my partner not to have emotionally charged or difficult conversations at night in bed. They are always best dealt with during the daytime when you’re not tired and in a good mood.
8. Allow enough time for sleep
Sleep is crucial to our physical and mental well-being, yet we so often sacrifice it for other activities.
I used to push my bedtime right up until the start time of what would be my ideal amount of sleep. So if I felt I needed eight hours to be at my best and had to get up at 8 a.m. for work, I’d go to bed at 12 a.m.
The problem, however, is that this can then trigger that feeling of stress if you get into bed and don’t fall asleep straight away. You’re setting yourself up to fail.
Nowadays, if I want eight hours of sleep, I go to bed at least eight and a half hours before my wake up time. If I’m watching a film, I pause it. If I’ve got work to do, I leave it until the morning.
Don’t allow unnecessary things to erode your precious sleep time. Give yourself a chance to go to bed feeling relaxed about how much time there is before the alarm goes off.
9. Sleep in a big enough bed or sleep separately
A few years ago, my partner and I experimented with sleeping in separate bedrooms (Not other people’s bedrooms!)
It made a significant difference to our quality of sleep. We both had loads of space in bed, we didn’t disturb each other when we had a bad night’s sleep, and we could have the room temperature and covers exactly how we wanted.
After a year, we decided that it was a bit sad to sleep apart, so we decided to buy a king-sized bed and squeeze it into the bedroom. It made a massive difference.
So my theory now is that if you have any suspicion that you and your partner are disturbing each other’s sleep, try getting a bigger bed. If that doesn’t work, have a backup spare bed you can slink off to if their snoring or movement is disturbing your sleep.
Failing all that, just have separate beds. You won’t be the only couple saving your sleep that way.
10. Stay positive
It’s easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle of worrying about not sleeping well. So often we go to bed dreading that our sleep problems will happen again.
I think it’s important to recognize that this can happen, and do your best not to fall into the trap of worrying about sleep. Try to see every night as a fresh start and tell yourself that you’ll sleep better tonight. Even if you do sleep badly again, don’t give up. Keep that positive thought in your head every time you go to bed.
If you have problems sleeping night after night, it can be good to shift your focus. For me, if I’m not feeling particularly tired when I go to bed, I just read my book and try to think about how cozy, warm, and relaxing it is to just be in bed.
If I wake up in the night, or early in the morning, and can’t fall asleep again, I try not to worry. I just relax, think about how nice my bed feels, and focus on the pleasant physical sensations instead of being at the mercy of my endless thought train.
I know it’s easier said than done. But perhaps just by planting the seed in your mind that it’s possible to think happy thoughts when you can’t sleep, you might find that it slowly but surely starts to happen.
It’s important to get a professional opinion if you have ongoing problems with your sleep. If, for example, you snore or have any kind of breathing irregularities in your sleep, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor about it.
If your sleep problems are impacting your, or your family’s, well-being, it’s worth seeking a medical opinion and advice. There could be an underlying health condition that needs treating or a sleep disorder that can be managed.
Do you have any experience of the tips in this article? Do you have any techniques of your own that you’d like to share?
Please share your story and thoughts in the comments below.